7 Helpful Truths

Check out these 7 truths to help motivate you and get you past self-imposed hurdles.

What I watched: “7 Harsh Truths you Probably Need to Hear” by WheezyWaiter. Posted May 24, 2024.

We all need some motivation at times. We all deal with self-doubt. I sure do. We can all use some simple but effective truths to help guide our lives, especially when we encounter what seems to be the inevitable negative internal chatter holding us back from something we want to do.

I ran across WheezyWaiter’s (also known as Craig Benzine) video and he offers 7 helpful truths. (I subscribe to his channel and love it.)

If you're having trouble starting things, or middling things, or doubting the thing you're about to finish, you're afraid of failure, I think this list is going to help you.

Every single one of the 7 truths has tremendous power within it to unlock potential or nudge us forward when we’re feeling hesitant. I’ve seen most of these articulated using different wording elsewhere, but this grouping of truths holds together nicely to help you when you’re approaching a project or goal.

1. You’ll never feel ready.

Most of the time I don’t know what’s going to happen. You just have to live in uncertainty. You feel like you don’t have enough time. Whenever I tell myself I don’t have time to do something, I treat it as a red flag. Maybe I actually just don’t want to do it.

This one hit home for me. As someone who is mostly self-taught including for my various careers, I’ve never felt quite ready to begin something.

When I wanted to write, I didn’t feel ready. When I wanted to strike out as a professional dancer, I didn’t feel ready. When I applied for my first job in the software technology industry, I didn’t feel ready. I could list dozens of things for which I didn’t feel ready but did anyway.

Nothing beats just starting. Nothing. No matter what it is you want to do, just start. Sure, your brain will create a bunch of bad possible outcomes, but that is addressed in the second truth.

2. Your what if’s are probably dumb.

The failure scenarios in your head, they’re probably too extreme, very unlikely.

Anyone who knows me well knows I’m a worrier. A big-time worrier. I have been my entire life. I can create the most bizarre or unlikely outcomes in my head and convince myself they’re just ahead on the horizon.

I struggle with this all the time. Even for something as simple as scheduling a trip I worry about what might happen if I get sick and can’t go, or a flight gets cancelled, or the alarm clock doesn’t go off and I miss my flight, or what if I schedule a trip and something better comes along I want to do more.

My brain is a messy place sometimes. Really messy. My friends think I have my shit mostly together, but what bangs around in my head is often scenarios of doom and gloom I have to dodge to come out the other side into some useful action.

3. The cavalry isn’t coming.

People want to see what you can do by you doing it, but also, they might not even care then. So just do it yourself. Just do everything yourself.

As an example, decades ago I wanted to write a book about what was then an edgy sexuality topic. I knew most publishing houses wouldn’t touch it. I sat on the idea because of the doubts. Then I said fuck it (see number 5 below) and self-published the first edition of Learning The Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun BDSM Lovemaking (paid link). It ended up selling 10’s of thousands of copies.

I did it myself. No, you can’t do everything by yourself, but you can often do more yourself than you realize. The fewer other people you rely on to do something, the more control you have over actually getting it done.

4. You are not flawless.

Especially when you’re starting, you will likely fail. You will fail often.

I fail. Often. I try to learn from those failures. If you don’t fail at least a bit, that probably means you didn’t try to do something worthwhile in the first place. Embrace your failures and treat them as life lessons.

And yes, this is much easier said than done. Try anyway.

5. Fuck it.

But fuck it is like a way of highlighting how you are feeling in that very moment. Like, I feel like I want to do this, so fuck it.

I’m going to suggest two good books that fully embrace the fuck it mindset. I’ve read them both and frequently recommend them.

The first is Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life (paid link). The other is Sarah Knight’s The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k (paid link). Check them out. I promise they both hold wisdom that will help you navigate through life better.

6. Nothing’s original.

Don’t let the feeling that what you’re doing has been done before stop you. Pure originality is impossible.

As a writer and generally creative person, this one is difficult to accept. I want to believe what I’m creating is entirely original. Every creative person wants to feel that way. But the truth is there are few things in life, if anything, that are entirely original.

This should also give you permission to do things your way. It’s your perspective, your skill set, your vision, your unique take on something, that sets it apart even if on its face it seems like something that’s been done before. Do you think a painter thinks “Oh, a bowl of fruit has been painted before so I can’t do that.” Each painting of a bowl of fruit bears the mark of that particular artist’s perspective and talent.

7. Why am I doing this?

Figure out the purpose of the thing. I find that figuring out the purpose of what you’re doing is motivational, especially when you get lost and you don’t know what to do next.

We hear a lot about purpose in self-help materials, but what’s often not said is that we create purpose. When it comes to what you’re creating or doing, you get to decide what the purpose is. Purpose isn’t hanging out somewhere waiting for you to discover it. You decide. You can create purpose, not just discover it. In fact, purpose that’s created is the more powerful of the two types of purpose.

So, ask yourself what’s the core purpose of what you want to do.

For example, for years I wanted to be a content creator who created videos. I sat on that for a long time. I hesitated because I didn’t have the high-end video editing skills so many creators I know have. And frankly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to dedicate the time and energy to developing those skills and spending the hours necessary to carefully craft such videos.

Then one day I was watching a video on Patti Smith’s Substack page and realized that I wanted to do what she does, simply talk to my audience. No fancy camerawork. No skillful editing. Just simple talk. So, I recently created my channel on which I do just that.

I hope these 7 truths are helpful. Maybe write them down and post them somewhere so you’ll see them regularly. That’s what I’ve done. It’s helped.

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