What I read: The Importance of Kindness by Karyn Hall Ph.D. Published December 4, 2017.
This post will be short. What I’m writing about here isn’t a complicated topic. It’s simply this.
Be kind.
I wrote about kindness before in my Fostering Kindness post, but I think it’s an important enough topic to revisit.
The article to which I link for this post is focused on kindness benefitting our relationships and general satisfaction in life.
Science has now shown that devoting resources to others, rather than having more and more for yourself, brings about lasting well-being. Kindness has been found by researchers to be the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage. Many colleges, including Harvard, are now emphasizing kindness on applications for admission.
Those are all important things to highlight about the impact of kindness. But being kind is something we should simply do because it’s the right thing to do, not because we necessarily see a personal benefit from it.
The Dalai Lama said it better than I can.
My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.
I’ve renounced all religion in my life, but a religion of pure kindness is one I can get behind.
I try to be kind. I fail. Often. Sadly. Just the other day I posted something quickly to social media and only later realized that there were some who would see the post as an unkind statement. I later realized that too and regretted posting it, at least in the way I worded it. Lesson learned. Hopefully. I’m sure I’ll fail again.
In the article Karyn Hall mentions a number of ways we can be kind. All are good approaches and wise advice. Here are some of the ways I try to be kind.
I compliment people on what they’re wearing or how they look. It brightens their day.
When I encounter someone on the street who looks like a tourist or otherwise not sure of where they’re going, I stop and ask if I can help them find something.
If a coworker does a good job with a task or project, I tell them.
When tempted to judge someone because of what they’re wearing, their physical appearance, their spiritual perspective, their life struggles, or whatever else I could be quick to deem wrong in some way, I count to 10 slowly and hold my tongue. Almost always I end up keeping my mouth shut.
When volunteers are needed for a community event, I try to help. Yes, volunteering helps me too by engaging me with people and building community, but it’s a kind act too.
Then there’s being kind to myself. Believe it or not, that’s often the hardest thing for me to do.
Kindness includes being kind to yourself. Do you treat yourself kindly? Do you speak gently and kindly to yourself and take good care of yourself?
Over time I’m becoming better at being kind to myself. I’ve lightened up. I’ve cut myself some slack. I’ve tried to abandon unrealistic expectations. Sometimes I realize doing nothing productive and simply sitting in front of a television watching a silly movie or reading a novel is among the kindest things I can do for myself.
So, whether it’s being kind to others, or being kind to yourself, join me in trying to make this a kinder world.
Do a thought experiment with yourself. Imagine a world in which everyone is intentionally kind. Would we throw the caustic barbs and insults at others that often spew forth from our mouths and fingers? Would social factions be at constant war with each other? Would we be so quick to judge people’s perspectives that we don’t understand?
I believe kindness begets kindness. It blossoms like a flower when its seeds are planted. Let’s create a world awash in a beautiful garden of such flowers. I know, it sounds naïve. It sounds idealistic. Maybe it is. But I honestly think it’s the only way we’re going to have the type of world we all want to live in.
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