Be Youer Than You
Reclaim the playful spirit we often lose somewhere between childhood and adulthood.
What I watched: “The Childhood Lie That Stifled Your Creativity” by Bokeh Bushido. Posted February 20, 2025.
We all live in a society that often does its best to squelch individuality and dimmish what makes us uniquely us. Families sometimes unknowingly communicate to children to be more like other kids than not. Schools too frequently follow an industrialized education model best suited to churning out worker bee automatons ready to plug into the corporate machinery. Subculture communities might differ from the larger mainstream population’s norms yet still aspire to replicate some of those norms to better “fit in.”
In the United States where I live, I think sometimes the tendency to fall in line with mainstream sensibilities might be stronger than elsewhere. But then again, I’ve read about and experienced firsthand other cultures I consider far more rigid and unforgiving than mine. Regardless, I think the tendency to embrace conformity is relatively universal. Differentness is often frowned upon. Sameness is comfortable and non-threatening.
Bokeh Bushido’s video tells the story of a highly skilled photographer whose work took on more aliveness and vibrancy when he stopped adhering to a rigid process and perspective for his work.
He let go of control, embracing the beautiful chaos of spontaneity. He stopped fearing that his creativity was too much and he started leaning into the freedom of being fully alive in his craft.
I frame such letting go as play and I think the cornerstone of good play is simply being authentically ourselves. Adults don’t play nearly enough. We have hobbies. We engage in social outings. We consume entertainment. But I don’t think we actually play as much as we should. Adopting a playful mindset not only reduces stress and improves overall wellbeing, but I contend it’s the secret sauce for improving everything we do. When the photographer Bushido mentions began to experiment with new ways of taking photographs, he was playing.
Going for a walk without a destination. Grabbing a book off a library shelf simply because it looks interesting in the moment. Snapping a photo of a dog on the street we find cute. Doodling with a pen on the back of a napkin. Those are little ways for adults to play.
But I believe play is also at the core of some of the more monumental and important things we do. Experimenting with parenting styles to find what works best for one’s children. Engaging in scientific research in a laboratory. A company having a contest in which all employees submit an idea for a new corporate tagline. Those are all improved with a hefty amount of play inserted into the process.
Something that constantly works against fostering a sense of play in adults is the draw of conformity. We all want to fit in, at least some of the time. A certain amount of conformity is beneficial to us and society along with the potential downsides. But too much conformity can take away what’s special about being human – the fact that there is no one else on the planet exactly like us.
If you’ve never watched Sir Ken Robinson’s “Do schools kill creativity?” TED Talk, which is also the most watched TED Talk, treat yourself and do so. Robinson also speaks to squelching our uniqueness, in our schooling system specifically.
Robinson tells the story of a mother concerned about her overactive child’s classroom behavior and talking to her daughter’s teacher about it.
As they went out of the room, he [the teacher] turned on the radio that was sitting on his desk. When they got out of the room, he said to the student’s mother “Just stand and watch her.” And the minute they left the room, the girl was on their feet, moving to the music. They watched for a few minutes. The teacher turned to her mother and he said, “You know, Mrs. Lynn, Gillian isn’t sick. She’s a dancer. Take her to a dance school.
That story hit home for me. I was that young kid who couldn’t sit still. At eight years of age, my father thankfully took me to my first gymnastics class where my need to move was a plus not a minus. Years later I ended up being a professional dancer which also aligned with my need to move. Even today, I will randomly push myself away from my desk and go outside for a walk, often many times a day.
Had my father attempted to harangue me to “sit still” I might never have blossomed into who I am today. My father saw me as me, a kid quite unlike most of the other kids around me, and he gave me the freedom to be me.
Because it has remained my favorite quotation for so many years, let me offer this from the iconic Dr. Seuss that speaks directly to this post’s message.
Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
Go forth and be you, the real you, wherever you are. Sure, you might need to conform a bit now and then depending on the situation, but don’t let that become too much of a habit. The best you can be and do will be because you’re as truly you as possible.
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