Embracing Death Cleaning
Everyone can benefit from learning about the gentle art of Swedish death cleaning.
What I read: The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter (paid link) by Margareta Magnusson. Published January 2, 2020.
Margareta Magnusson’s book about the Swedish cultural practice of death cleaning wasn’t on my radar at all until a social media follower mentioned it in a comment.
Lately, I’ve been undertaking the task of drastically trimming my possessions. I’m doing this for a few reasons. The more immediate reason is that I want to move to a new apartment sometime in the not too distant future. Reducing the amount of stuff in my current apartment and garage is a necessity if I’m to move smoothly and not lug along with me a bunch of unnecessary stuff as part of that move. But the long-term reason is I want to live a simpler, smaller, and less burdened life. Eliminating the vast amount of stuff I’ve accumulated is a significant part of achieving that goal. Most of what I own I never or rarely use. It’s silly for me to continue to haul such stuff around from place to place.
Owning as much as I do quite literally stresses me out and that’s just ridiculous. Getting rid of my excess stuff is entirely within my control. That I haven’t done it enough to date is due entirely to my own inertia. Thankfully, I’ve become suitably motivated to move forward and I’ve been steadily eliminating excess stuff from my life. But I have quite a ways go to before I reach a state at which I’ll be content that I’ve reduced my living footprint to a level that will instill more calm and order in my life.
The topic of reducing stuff isn’t new for me. To various extents, I’ve written about it in “Wrestling With Stuff”, “Why Wanting Less Can Be Good,” “Simplicity By Another Name,” “Entertaining Minimalism,” “Reducing To Improve,” and “Improving By Subtracting.” Clearly, I’ve been thinking about this for a while.
However, for whatever reason, Magnusson’s book hit home like nothing else I’ve read on the topic before. Perhaps it’s because as the Executor of my parent’s estate and having been responsible for emptying and selling their house after my father died and we had to move my mother with Multiple Sclerosis into assisted living, it was an incredible amount of work.
Despite my parents having been smart and strategic over time by whittling down their possessions and living situations from a huge three-story home to a large single-story home to a modest sized home, they still ended up with a lot of stuff in the end. That’s why Magnusson’s book on death cleaning struck a chord with me. I could relate directly to its message.
That said, Magnusson’s book isn’t just about reducing one’s possessions so that one’s remaining family and friends aren’t burdened upon one’s death. Rather, it’s also and in my view primarily about a life practice that keeps one’s amount of possessions in check and organized that results in a more calm and pleasant life.
At nearly 70 years of age, I have no intention of leaving this mortal plane anytime soon. Still, the death cleaning (it's not as morbid as it sounds) the author discusses makes so much sense for me in this phase of my life. My guess is it makes sense for many people who have succumbed to the consumerist mindset and are drowning in out-of-control stuff.
My motivation in the short term is simply a better life. I know I'll have a better life with less stuff. I know some love being surrounded by lots of stuff. Fine for them. I'm not one of them. I lived very simply for most of my early adult life and want to return to that way of living again.
The book itself is short. I read it in one evening. Its brevity is part of its charm. It delivers its message succinctly. In the first section of the book, the author explains the crux of the death cleaning practice.
Death cleaning is not about dusting or mopping up; it is about a permanent form of organization that makes your everyday life run more smoothly.
That’s it. That’s why it struck a chord with me. That’s why I want to reduce my day-to-day footprint. That’s why I want to simplify. I want my life to run more smoothly. I think many people want the same thing. This book might help you do that.
There aren’t many books I think everyone will get something useful from, but this is such a book. Its message and advice are universally applicable to young and old, minimalist or maximalist. Even the maximalist who loves to wallow amid a lot of stuff in their lives will likely get something out of this book too. Extreme maximalism borders on hoarding, and the truth is most of us have hoarded some of the stuff in our lives at least to some extent.
Another selling point for the book is the writing style. Calm and nonjudgmental. Crisp and simple. A bit of whimsy is thrown in now and then. It’s a charming book.
Saga Johanna provides a great short explanation of this type of decluttering from a minimalist perspective.
In five minutes, she provides the highlights of the book and the death cleaning practice. She points out that:
Anyone can do it.
It should be done slowly and with careful consideration.
You should tell your loved ones you’re doing it.
Be reasonable and sensible when doing in the practice.
If possible, try to gift the items you’re eliminating.
Eliminate any items in your life that are a burden for you or someone who later might need to take care of it.
She also talks about the book’s suggestion to eliminate the embarrassing items in your life which I started to balk when first reading it considering my overtly queer, kinky, and polyamorous lifestyle. I don’t consider anything in my life embarrassing. I’m an open book. But the author’s explanation of that is rather lovely and she concludes that advice with this beautifully nonjudgmental passage.
Maybe Grandfather had ladies’ underwear in his drawer and maybe Grandma had a dildo in hers. But what does that matter now? They are no longer among us; if we liked them, it really should be nothing for us to worry about. Let us each have our small preferences, as long as nobody gets hurt.
But it is perhaps a nice gift to those loved ones who may be death cleaning for us later if we do a little bit of our own cleaning now—to reduce these types of belongings a bit before we leave our present life.
Save your favorite dildo—but throw away the other fifteen!
Although I’ve been practicing some form of this cleaning for a while now as I’ve been purging my life of excess stuff, there was one thing that especially allowed me to exhale and relax, That was the advice that this is not a “project” but rather an ongoing way of life. The death cleaning mindset is something you always do, forever. It’s not about doing it once and then you’re done. I’d been seeing my current possession elimination endeavors as a project and the time-bound mentality of that was stressing me out. Now, I simply think of it as something I’m doing and will keep doing forever. I’m more calm about it all.
I hope you’ll read this book. It’s lovely. It’s a quick afternoon or evening read. I think it has advice everyone can use.
When I read the book, I had no idea there is a television series based on it. I haven’t watch it yet, but plan to. Amy Poehler is an executive producer and narrator (I love her work).
Here's a short four-minute interview with the book’s author.
Whatever end of the stuff-loving spectrum you’re on, from stark minimalist to a rabid collector or maximalist, or anything in between, I think you’ll love this book. It’s truly helpful, and for me that indicates whether a nonfiction book of this type is worth reading.
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