Hello!

How do we best greet someone, especially those people we casually run across and want to acknowledge?

What I read: “How to say a beautiful ‘hello’ – inspired by philosophy from non-English speaking cultures” by Lloyd Strickland. Published August 19, 2024.

Friendliness is something I try to embody. Not just with my friends, but also with anyone I run across in my day-to-day life. Part of that process is greeting people I encounter.

I live in a dense urban neighborhood in a large city, San Francisco. When I walk out of my apartment, it’s inevitable I’m going to encounter a lot of people. Do I greet them all? No. Do I greet many of them? Yes. But how to best do that? That’s something I’ve pondered and over time refined what works for me.

Lloyd Strickland points out several ways us Americans greet each other.

Hi. Or should that be: hello? Or: hey? Or: yo? Or: ’sup? In English, there is no shortage of ways to greet someone casually or informally – and most English speakers will use one or more of these greetings every day.

Of course, English also has a number of formal or respectful greetings, such as “How are you?” and the now slightly dated: “How do you do?” But while these may appear to be inquiries into someone’s wellbeing, they are normally used to demonstrate politeness in greeting rather than a genuine interest in and concern for others.

In the past, “Hey!” was my greeting of choice. Before that it was “How are you?” but I eventually realized that most of the time I honestly didn’t want to take the time out of my day for casual passersby to reply with a detailing of how they actually were. A good friend? Yes. But rarely do most of us have enough time in our day to hear a detailed status report from those we consider acquaintances or strangers.

So, I stopped saying “How are you? many years ago unless it’s someone from whom I truly do want to know how they are.

“Hey!” is another utterance I was likely to say when I nodded my head as I passed by someone. I’ve mostly stopped saying that too. Not sure why. “Hey!” is a perfectly good greeting. To the best of my knowledge, I’ve never greeted anyone with “Yo!” or “Sup?”

I like “Good morning/afternoon/evening!” but have found myself often mentally checking the time of day to make sure I was using the correct one of the three. When I tried “Good day!” I felt like I was somehow trying to imitate Australians.

What do I say currently? Hello. Whether I pass a stranger or acquaintance on the street, Hello works every time. It’s time of day neutral. It also seems to be less common than Hey or How are you, so people seem to take more notice of the greeting. At least it seems that way to me.

In Strickland’s article, he explains various ways different cultures greet each other. I especially like this one since it harkens to the contemporary concept of “feeling seen.”

[quote starts]

There are even greetings that arise from and reflect a culture’s philosophy or way of life. For example, in Zulu, the traditional greeting is “sawubona”, which means “I see you”. Not in the sense of “I have spotted you”, “I have glanced at you”, or “I see what you are up to”. Rather, it means “I see you” in the sense of recognition or acknowledgement.

This greeting captures the idea that I recognise your dignity, your value, your worth as a person. It’s an idea that lies at the heart of Ubuntu, a traditional African philosophy, or way of life, that recognises human beings as deeply interconnected and interdependent and so emphasises humanity towards others.

[quote ends]

I recommend reading all of Strickland’s article. It’s short. But perhaps reading it will prod you to reflect on how you greet people throughout your day. There’s no one correct way to greet another person, but I contend that if we give some thought to how we might do that best and not just parrot the most common conventions, it will land upon the other person’s ears a bit more receptively.

You can use this link to access all my writings and social media. My content is usually open and free to view, but for those who are able your paid subscription (click the Subscribe button) or patron support are always appreciated.