Just Do It, Because No One Cares

We worry about what others think about us far too much or fritter away our time in mundane jobs or social roles when we should instead simply be doing exactly what we want to do.

What I watched: “I Asked 1,000+ Older People for Life Advice and Learned...” by Sprouht. Posted August 4, 2024.

As an older person, I perhaps arrogantly think I have a bit of wisdom to pass on to younger people. Whether my advice is good or not, the collective advice of a large number of older people probably has some weight of truth. This short Sprouht video condenses a lot of that collective wisdom from older people into three life lessons learned by those who have lived a lot of life.

Over a two-year span William Rossy interviewed more than 1,000 older people in 35 countries to ask them their secrets to living a more fulfilling life. Sprouht is one of my favorite channels. Whether the full-length videos or one of the many social media clips that pop into my feed, I generally always pause to watch Sprouht content. The videos are insightful and inspiring, and I recommend you follow Sprouht.

Rossy delivers three life lessons he’s garnered after reviewing and analyzing his many interviews.

The first lesson he learned from asking his subjects this question: “What is the one thing that when you were younger you put a lot of importance on but as you got older you realized wasn’t that important.”

85% of those he interviewed answered caring too much about the opinions of other people, caring too much about what other people think of us. People phrased it in different ways, but that was the gist of their answers.

That reminds me of something I’ve been saying for years.

Your happiness is in direct inverse proportion to how much you care what other people think.

However it’s phrased, this is honestly what I consider one of the most important life lessons one can learn.

We bend ourselves into a pretzel trying to accommodate and adjust to the opinions of others. Whether it’s on dating apps, socialization settings, family situations, formal schooling, the workplace, or social media, we too often care what other people think about us. It’s debilitating. It’s a happiness block of monumental proportions.

Iyanla Vanzant has said “Comparison is an act of violence against the self” and I’ve never seen that sentiment said better. It packs more of a punch than the proverbial “Comparison is the thief of joy” that’s been attributed to multiple people.

Rossy says this about caring too much about what others think of us.

But the truth is that the opinions of others are nothing more than an obstacle that impede you from becoming the person that you want to be.

So true.

I recall the reactions from people at college when I left during my third semester to pursue a career as a dancer. Most thought I was bonkers for doing it. I never regretted it. Even though my career as a dancer was relatively brief (as many are), I would not have traded that time in my life for anything else. I experienced a few years of monumental bliss every single day I danced.

Throughout my life I’ve taken a fork in the road that I was often warned was a mistake. It was rarely a mistake. And if it was a mistake, I learned from it, which is how a well-lived and fulfilling life should be. Playing it safe is boring and mind numbing.

The second life lesson Rossy mentions is the result of answers he received when asking what advice older people would give to younger people who are struggling to navigate their life.

Rossy posits that having goals is underrated and that many of those he interviewed who reflect back on a good life had goals and clear directions. Here’s where I balked a little. Anyone who follows my writings knows I’ve been steadily moving “away” from setting specific life goals.

My perspective on goals is best represented by my post, “Stop Dangling Carrots.”

Perhaps we should all try living with fewer goals, or at least more loosely held goals, and instead focus on the process, the practice, the day-to-day work that produces great outcomes even when those outcomes might not look exactly like our original goal.

Then I thought a bit more about it and I’m not sure Rossy and I disagree much. If you read some of my other writings, while I consider what I do process rather than goal setting, perhaps they’re not that much different. In “My Daily Practice,” I outline my daily process for self-reflection and moving forward in positive ways. Is that so different than goal setting? Maybe, but they’re at least somewhat similar.

Rossy sells a Goal Setting Journal. Journaling of any sort is for me more about self-reflection and if that’s Rossy’s intent, to promote self-reflection and thereby growth which moves people ahead in life in positive ways, I’m all for it. But rigid goals themselves aren’t attractive to me. So, maybe buy his journal. Honestly, I’m all for spending your money on anything that adds to positive directions in your life and maybe this will. It’s probably $36 well spent. I might even buy one myself to see what it’s like, but I doubt I’ll revert to my old goal setting ways.

The final lesson Rossy mentions is a pattern he’s observed that explains why most of us are unhappy. He believes there are two moments in life when we are happiest – our early 20s and early 60s For what it’s worth, I’m 70 and rather damn happy. I try to find happiness in every stage of life and that might belie Rossy’s observations.

My 20s were a wild ride. I was finding myself as a fully out gay man. I had a bunch of disparate but interesting jobs along with a decent career as a dancer and actor. I’ll give Rossy the benefit of the doubt since my 20s do align with his views.

But I really do think he’s onto something when he explains how when we’re older we care less about what other people think of us and we realize that the end of our life is closer than the beginning. It’s an odd realization when you pause and think to yourself that under the best of circumstances you perhaps have 20 or if you’re really lucky 30 years left to live (I’d be 100, I’m aiming for that).

Then Rossy mentions something that I truly agree with.

Now, I want to emphasize this because there needs to be a reform of the way that we think about our capabilities. Schools have been pressuring us into jumping into jobs we know we won’t like because they’re socially acceptable. But is it worth spending your entire life doing something that makes you unhappy?

By the way, the answer is no. It’s always no.

I’ve certainly compromised a lot when it comes to my work life. I spent more time in the corporate arena than I might have if I’d taken a different path, but just today I described my corporate life, whether as an individual contributor or manager of a large team, as my “fancy waiting tables” that paid the bills so I could pursue other avenues such as my writing.

Before anyone jumps at me as denigrating waiting tables, I’m not. I was a food server and bartender for many years and loved every minute of it. I really did. So much fun. But I use that example because so often people see waiting tables as a way to pay the bills and not as a career. (For the record, being a good food server or bartender is indeed a great career and there aren’t enough good ones around. It’s far more useful to society than many of the corporate positions I see people numbly cling to.)

In the video, one of Rossy’s interview subjects talks about being at a job for only a few weeks when a coworker passes away. They had worked at that company their entire working life. They were close to retirement, had all their sick and vacation days saved up, contributed into a pension, and then bam, death.

We have very little time on this planet. I wrote about that very topic in “Your Life Will Be Absurdly Brief.”

As one of Rossy’s interviewees mentions, there isn’t anything necessarily wrong with having a 9 to 5 if that’s right for you. But if you’re not enjoying the very finite moments you have on this planet, then why are you going through all those motions? What’s it all for?

Then, to put a nice pin in it, Rossy says this.

This point brings me back to the first point where understanding that what society thinks or says about you has absolutely no relevance. That is a paramount fact you have to understand to live a more fulfilling life. And the connection is my way of telling you that after listening to 1000+ interviews, if I’ve learned anything, it has helped me realize that we’re all the same. It doesn’t matter where we’re from, what language you speak, how old we are, everybody wants to have more time to do things that they love with people that they love and the way we think of ourselves is a direct result of the way we will end up caring about how the world sees us. So, if you have one takeaway from this video, it’s to do the thing. Time will pass. The sun will rise and the sun will set every single day regardless of if you’re doing the things you want to be doing or not.

So just do it. Nobody really cares. And you only have one chance to seize this life.

Just do it is a nice life lesson to end this post on. So, I will. Go do the thing you want to do. Now. Life is precious and extremely short.

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