Just Go Ahead and Do It

Don’t listen to those who want to stop you from doing something because they have judged your efforts underwhelming. And try to deliver criticism, if you deliver any at all, with the utmost care.

What I read: “A Life Lesson From Kurt Vonnegut — Of All People” by John Teehan. Published November 28, 2023.

A post was circulating on social media. I was going to share the post but decided to do a bit of searching online to make sure the quote attributed to Kurt Vonnegut in the post was true and accurate.

Search results presented the article by John Teehan that referenced the same social media post I was investigating but elaborated on its message more thoroughly. I read the article and immediately had to write about it to share it with my readers.

The specific part of the longer Vonnegut quote that imprinted on me immediately was this.

‘I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.’

My guess is you have experienced wanting to pursue things that you thought or other people said you weren’t any good at, and that kept you from doing them.

This is how I felt growing up. Those around me didn't realize they were creating a rigid and judgmental achievement-oriented environment, but that's what happened. It took decades to mostly unlearn all that. Notice I said mostly.

More about the main point of the article in a moment, but first let me recount a story from my life that illustrates the dangers of dissuading someone from doing something simply because they’re not good at it in the eyes of the commenter.

Years ago, I was a professional dancer. As dancers often do, I decided to supplement my dance classes with acting classes and voice lessons. I sought out what I had been told was an excellent voice teacher and signed up for weekly lessons.

About three months into the lessons my voice teacher said something that I’m sure he felt was a compliment of sorts, but that’s not how I heard it. He said, “Of all my students, no one has made more progress than you have in this amount of time. You’ll never be a great singer, but you’ve made tremendous progress.”

Guess what part of that I heard. Yeah, the “you’ll never be a great singer” part.

I was crushed. Although I’m sure the teacher believed he was bestowing some semblance of an accolade on me, when a teacher tells you you’ll never be great, it stings and leaves in its wake a lack of self-confidence that can take years to unravel.

Up to that point, I sang because I enjoyed it. I sang because it was something I liked doing. Sure, it might get me a paid stage musical gig, but the act of singing truly brought me joy, up until that day the voice teacher uttered those words that weighed me down like a bag of bricks for years afterward.

For a while I didn’t pursue any auditions that required me to sing. Dancing sure. Acting, something I was naturally good at out of the gate, sure. But singing? Nope. I just didn’t try.

Eventually a friend guided me to a better voice teacher who not only helped me improve my singing but more importantly instilled in me confidence. He didn’t try to turn my voice into a copy of someone else’s. He let me shine.

A few months after starting with that voice teacher a casting agent was in the audience of a nightclub act I was dancing in at the Playboy Club in Chicago. After the show, he came backstage and talked to a few of us and asked us if we’d like to be in a television commercial. Of course, we all said yes. The commercial was shot a few days later.

During the shoot, which was a commercialized take on the then popular A Chorus Line musical, we dancers had to sing a jingle for the product while dancing. The director was frustrated. The 10 of us dancers weren’t singing quite the way he wanted us to. We began to sing it again and then he suddenly pointed directly at me and said to the other dancers “Like that! Sing it exactly how he’s singing it.”

To say I had an internal glow and felt validated is an understatement. In a few words, that director changed how I felt about singing. It washed away all the negativity I had carried around because of that past voice teacher’s unfortunate phrasing of his compliment.

I tell that story to emphasize the power of our words and commentary on what others do. Whether it’s art, sports, or a company presentation, we can all feel like we’re good at it or terrible at it, and how we feel can be entirely founded upon what we heard when someone commented positively or negatively about whatever it is we’re doing.

The point of Teehan’s article is to encourage his readers to do things in life simply because we want to do them, not because we’re necessarily good at those things. I couldn’t agree more. But at the same time, each one of us has the power to crush or support someone else’s pursuit of something they find fun and worthwhile.

All that said, if possible, try to buttress yourself from being too influenced by people’s comments about your performance level. I know, easier said than done. But history books are full of stories of people who were told they were no good at something only to later become stars in their field. But even that’s not the important message here.

Just do whatever it is you want to do. Just do it. Realize people are going to make comments – some good, some bad. Some people around you will champion your hobbies, interests, and passions. Others will denigrate them because they think you don’t meet some standards metric that resides inside their head.

If someone like my first voice teacher says something to crush your spirit, figure out quickly how to get past it. I wallowed in the aftermath of his comment for far too long and it’s only through the hindsight of a long life I can tell you taking to heart such negative comments will never help.

Yes, constructive criticism is a good thing, but the operative word is constructive. Constructive criticism is a magic stringing together of words that simultaneously delivers something corrective amid an equally vehement show of support and enthusiasm. My first voice teacher probably thought he was doing just that, but it’s human nature to focus on the negative. So, when delivering constructive criticism or commentary, go out of your way to err on the side of support and enthusiasm because the receiver is likely to attach themselves to the negative because that’s human nature in this high achievement and expertise laden society we live in.

Play the piano. Write a book. Shoot for the high-level promotion at work. Start your gym workout. Dress and present yourself in whatever way you feel sexy and powerful. Whatever it is, just go ahead and do it. Because there will always be naysayers ready to pounce on your joy, often to allay their own lack of belief in themselves. Don’t let them do that to you.

Just do it because this life of ours is short, far too short to keep us from doing anything that enlivens our spirit, engages our mind, or feeds our heart.

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