Why Pleasure Isn't Always Happiness
Our society nudges us to indulge in all sorts of simple pleasures, which can be fine, but they’re not necessarily going to lead to a truly deep sense of happiness.
What I watched: “The philosophy of happiness, explained in 10 minutes” by Jonny Thomson for Big Think. Posted December 13, 2024.
When I write, there is a narrative that goes through my head much of the time: “Will this make other people’s lives better in some way.” Perhaps another translation of that is will it improve people’s level of happiness.
Happiness is a much discussed, studied, and sought thing. We all want happiness. Great philosophical minds have wrestled with the concept of happiness and how to attain it.
As Jonny Thomson explains at the start of the video, philosophers like Aristotle have argued that everything we do in life is for some further purpose. Finding purpose (or meaning) is a phrase tossed about a lot in philosophy as well as in the self-information industry realm.
Aristotle pondered what purpose seeking is leading to; what is it we’re all ultimately training to attain? Aristotle contends that the point of all human life is to reach happiness.
In the video, Thomson says a phrase that I’m sure I’ll now use often when describing the difference between the external pleasure trappings of happiness and true happiness.
I think it’s [happiness] so elusive because the term itself is so laden. We associate happiness as being this beaming smile with a selfie on social media, but I think happiness is not a smiling face, it’s more a smiling soul.
Happiness is a smiling soul. That resonates with me. I’ve known many people who appeared happy on the outside and might have even proclaimed they are happy, but the truth was the external demeanor was hiding an unhappy person. So, the “smiling soul” (soul being used here metaphorically) is a much better way to describe true happiness.
Judging our own happiness and seeking it out is confusing. Our modern society is a constant deluge of messaging from family, school, friends, social circles, religious leaders, and an array of self-appointed happiness experts offering what they believe will make us happy. Often their advice conflicts.
Finding and experiencing happiness is confusing considering all this input coming from all sides. Thomson references Daoism as having a good analogy for why it’s so confusing and difficult to understand.
Imagine life as a dense forest with a nicely paved road down which you can easily walk. No decisions. No deviations. No questioning your journey. You just walk down the path that’s been pre-designed for you. Such easy paths are comfortable, but comfortable is not always where growth happens.
Along your way in the forest there are other paths, paths that aren’t neatly cleared of obstacles, but rather they’re cumbersome, arduous, or treacherous. But these not so easy paths are like happiness. Some paths to happiness seem right to us at the time. Sometimes those paths do indeed lead us to happiness. But there are so many different paths from which to choose. Sometimes we don’t realize we’re on the wrong path until it’s too late.
Thomson started a project called Mini Philosophy to try to teach the everyday person about philosophy. One of the things I like about Thomson’s work is he’s not dedicated to a single school of philosophy. For example, these days Stoicism is touted quite a bit among content creators and that’s great. Stoicism is an important school of philosophy, but it’s just one of many. Thomson studies them all and looks for commonalities and themes across the arc of philosophical history.
What Thomson found is that all the themes he recognized across the centuries were related to happiness – how to live one’s best life and be a good person. Each of the many schools of philosophy are ultimately trying to convince their adherents that their path to happiness is the right one.
Observing from a mile high vantage point across centuries of philosophical thought, Thomson noticed certain recurring themes.
Referencing back to the Daoist analogy of diverging paths, the trick becomes when walking down a path that isn’t bringing you happiness, how do you find the right alternative path?
Thomson alludes to both philosophical and theological beacons of light that the various traditions have suggested we walk toward. If we’re unhappy, Thomson suggests we should walk toward these lights. He’s identified three such lights which he calls pillars of happiness.
Happiness ≠ pleasure.
Moderation
Virtue.
Ancient Greeks had lots of words for happiness, and one was hedonia which represents simple pleasures. Dancing with friends. A glass of wine while reading a book. Soaking in a jacuzzi. Pleasurable activities but quite easy to make happen.
Eudaimonia differs from hedonia. In “How to measure happiness: hedonia vs. eudaimonia,” Jonny Thomson explains eudaimonia this way.
For Aristotle, eudaimonia is a full or flourishing life. It is one of moral excellence, duty, and virtue. It might involve or accompany pleasure, but it doesn’t seek it. Eudaimonic happiness means the thriving of the soul and doing what you were meant to do as a human.
The gist of what Thomson is getting at in the video is that the most meaningful and fulfilling types of happiness are often the result of some struggle. He uses the example of raising children, not always a pleasant endeavor but ultimately an extremely fulfilling one for most parents. Having to wrestle with life, to exert effort and maintain resolve, can lead to far deeper feelings of happiness than mere pleasures can elicit.
Pleasure is not always an inherent aspect of happiness, but our modern culture sure does make it seem like it is. Advertising, social media, Hollywood movies, and other cultural influences push the idea that seeking simple pleasures is the path to true happiness.
Buddhism defines pleasure as a desire satisfier. But the number of desires any of us has in a single day is innumerable. We can’t satisfy them all. To find true happiness we must look outside of the simple pleasures. We must find those pursuits for which we must exert some effort and toil to achieve a deeper sense of happiness and fulfillment.
You don’t need to suffer to achieve deep happiness. The opposite of simple pleasures isn’t suffering to arrive as some blissful happiness state. I know we often fetishize suffering as a path toward happiness but enjoying the pleasures of life and pursuing deeper happiness at not mutually exclusive. We can enjoy a lot of pleasures while still undertaking efforts that will manifest deeper happiness.
Here is where Thomson’s second pillar of happiness comes in – moderation. We find a middle way between pleasure and suffering. This means we must accept that life is complex and sometimes confusing. Life is not black or white, but rather everything is essentially gray.
Thomson explains more about moderation and then his third pillar of happiness – virtue. I’m trying to keep my posts shorter. So, I’m going to let you watch the video to learn more. The video is only 10 minutes long and it’s worth every second of your time.
Jonny Thomson is the author of Mini Philosophy: A Small Book of Big Ideas (paid link), Mini Big Ideas: A Little Book of Big Innovations (paid link), and Mini Psychology: A Small Book About Our Big Brains (paid link). You can also find information about him on his website and various social media accounts (links to them on his website). He’s quite an interesting person to follow.
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